Happy & Sad Halloween

Nearly all children are excited when holidays come around, and Halloween is especially fun because it's aimed at the child in all of us.

One child I worked especially closely with today seemed rather sad. He watched in envy as the kindergarteners paraded their costumes around to the soundtrack of parental applause and flashbulbs. We had to stop our activities because this was so distracting. It seemed to be more than regular attention problems.

He told me that he wouldn't be trick or treating this year because "we can't afford it". I felt badly that no adult in his family was able to pull together some sort of costume and at least take him to one of the many churches, stores, or community gatherings in the area where he could participate in some type of fun.

Perhaps the adults in his life are too focused on earning enough money to stay afloat, have health challenges, other children who are struggling, or struggle with life in general. There may be many reasons we don't understand.

I felt for him, and for every child who comes to school without adequate food and clothing, has no one to help them with their homework, are being beaten, or used in inappropriate ways.

My first year of teaching I was told "Remember, you can't take them all home to raise." I repeat that to myself often. I still remember several children from that year.

One girl who came to school in the same unwashed clothing every day, which the nurse would kindly wash as the child wore clothing from the lost & found. Her hair was also washed at school. Her mother was a prostitute, and this child got herself up in the mornings alone. She would often tell me, "My mother didn't come home last night." I would wonder if she were in jail, or dead. We called Child Protective Services, but the family disappeared the day before they came to interview her. I often wonder about this child who had no learning disabilities, but had huge gaps in her education because she was rarely in school.

Another boy who stuttered, and kept saying, "My father's in . . . in. . . in . . .", which I anticipated would be followed by the name of another city or state, but turned out to be "incarcerated". I soon learned that if you know the word "incarcerated", and your 3rd grade or younger, your family has had a lot of experience with the justice system. And usually not in a good way.

Another girl who had been adopted following years of abuse. She was healing from severe emotional and physical problems. I hope she's better now.

All teachers have taken their turn providing life's necessities for their students. But, unfortunately, despite our desires to impact the lives of our students, we can't take care of them all.

And that weighs heavy on our hearts. Often for years.